after spending a week in barcelona last yr and a few days in yangon, i have decided to go on a trip annually! this yr i'm planning to go to france from 24th nov to 8th dec for under $2000 :P first a week of silence in taize, den a trip to lourdes and back to paris for museums and shopping. :) can't wait for travel fair!
now i gotta go learn french :P
been lusting after other things as well, like quiting my job and doing crafts full-time. making books and sewing bags and cards and whatnots. reality isn't that bad, it's just that my dreams are better.
[dA white b0xxx]
星期六, 一月 7
星期三, 十二月 28
feedback channels
//rant//
felt a bit irritated and fed-up cos some random uncle thinks that he can change things by giving me feedback just because i'm in the committee. like, hello! i'm just the ka-kia okay. as if telling me will do u any good, or change anything... *narrowedglintsofangereyes*
was that an accusing tone of voice u're using? why are u telling me what is the better thing to do?
no, i/we are not purposely raising prices to fund-raise. (i get extremely irritated at this part) and no, keep asking ppl for money will not work, contrary to what u believe. and no, church is not paying upfront for anything. (i think he's upset that his contributions are going into places where he doesn't want them to go.) <--and his thinking is a myth, by the way. as far as i know, church accounts are very strict and funds are tight like a dam.
so perhaps, would u mind telling the proper personnel abt your feedback? and like, get ur facts right before telling me what we're doing is wrong. thanks.
sometimes i wonder if ppl are only hearing what they want to hear, even though things have been clearly said already. hmmm.
as if trying to manage my time and projects is not enough, i still have to manage ppl's emotions and opinions and fend them? oh my. *stare*
//end rant//
felt a bit irritated and fed-up cos some random uncle thinks that he can change things by giving me feedback just because i'm in the committee. like, hello! i'm just the ka-kia okay. as if telling me will do u any good, or change anything... *narrowedglintsofangereyes*
was that an accusing tone of voice u're using? why are u telling me what is the better thing to do?
no, i/we are not purposely raising prices to fund-raise. (i get extremely irritated at this part) and no, keep asking ppl for money will not work, contrary to what u believe. and no, church is not paying upfront for anything. (i think he's upset that his contributions are going into places where he doesn't want them to go.) <--and his thinking is a myth, by the way. as far as i know, church accounts are very strict and funds are tight like a dam.
so perhaps, would u mind telling the proper personnel abt your feedback? and like, get ur facts right before telling me what we're doing is wrong. thanks.
sometimes i wonder if ppl are only hearing what they want to hear, even though things have been clearly said already. hmmm.
as if trying to manage my time and projects is not enough, i still have to manage ppl's emotions and opinions and fend them? oh my. *stare*
//end rant//
星期一, 十一月 21
will be away
in barcelona for sch trip these 9 days... back for a few days den flying off to myanmar after. busy travelling ahead! pray for our safety! bringing a busload of art students over... :P
星期三, 十一月 16
happyness
sometimes, or perhaps very often, it is the simplest things in life that bring the most joy :)
i had a relatively good work review i think, nothing much to add / amend, but i did spend a long time writing up the report :P so i guess that paid off. :)
feeling that extra dose of happiness today cos of some extra honest lovin'. i thank God for you. ;)
i had a relatively good work review i think, nothing much to add / amend, but i did spend a long time writing up the report :P so i guess that paid off. :)
feeling that extra dose of happiness today cos of some extra honest lovin'. i thank God for you. ;)
星期日, 十一月 13
trying to convince myself
that a particular person and i just started out on the wrong footing. this strain of heightened wariness and unpleasantness just emerges unsuspectingly, and it is rather apparent to others, even to myself, and i can't seem to control myself properly. i sensed that i was being bitchy, and felt that i was in the right to do so. which is the part that irks me and 'ruffles my feathers'. i wonder if it's just me and my reaction to this person, that perhaps i'm not being fair and objective and seeing the good work and effort he is doing for the greater good. in my biased eyes and pompous attitude i keep thinking that i am right instead. but what is it that ruffles the feathers??
one reason, is that i feel that he is not practicing what he preaches. he seems to be different ppl in different roles and occasions, and hence he is inconsistent and thus does not win my trust. i just hope that i am mistaken and wrong and have misunderstood him. what irked me today was a small thing, like, suggesting to use "How Great is Our God" for thanksgiving hymn for mass tmr. i said that it was not liturgically right, and my other friends asked if i was questioning his sense of liturgy. and i said yes! >.< i had to argue with myself on the walk home, to see why i was worked up over such a small thing. perhaps i am conservative then, but i came to the conclusion that a priest once commented to me, that we are often so particular about the non-essentials, and yet forget what really are the essentials. in this case, whether we sing that song or not is a non-essential. so should i be arguing over it? it's really, such a small thing but it is so telling of bigger things like fundamental understanding of liturgical music. o.m.g.
how?? i just hope that he wakes up tmr and forgets about it. or wish the Holy Spirit would suddenly intervene in his dreams or something. hmmm. grit my teeth and bear with it.
one reason, is that i feel that he is not practicing what he preaches. he seems to be different ppl in different roles and occasions, and hence he is inconsistent and thus does not win my trust. i just hope that i am mistaken and wrong and have misunderstood him. what irked me today was a small thing, like, suggesting to use "How Great is Our God" for thanksgiving hymn for mass tmr. i said that it was not liturgically right, and my other friends asked if i was questioning his sense of liturgy. and i said yes! >.< i had to argue with myself on the walk home, to see why i was worked up over such a small thing. perhaps i am conservative then, but i came to the conclusion that a priest once commented to me, that we are often so particular about the non-essentials, and yet forget what really are the essentials. in this case, whether we sing that song or not is a non-essential. so should i be arguing over it? it's really, such a small thing but it is so telling of bigger things like fundamental understanding of liturgical music. o.m.g.
how?? i just hope that he wakes up tmr and forgets about it. or wish the Holy Spirit would suddenly intervene in his dreams or something. hmmm. grit my teeth and bear with it.
星期六, 十一月 12
a full pale yellow moon tonight
finally finished writing the first draft of my appraisal form. it's long overdue and i had been procrastinating. still left marker's report to write, plus booklet prep for spain... and many other misc things...
today a friend of mine called me to tell me that i hadn't been too careful with my mouth, and had blabbered some potentially hurtful things abt herself to a complete stranger who knew her. it struck me that i hadn't thought about the consequences of saying all that, and that to me it was just mindless small talk. so i guess i was really at fault, and did not take her words seriously, whereas she really meant whatever she said to me. and i almost got her into trouble if that stranger-friend of hers did blabber to another person. eeps. it's a horribly irresponsible thing. so now i gotta be more aware of the politics that abound in the profession and pretend to be mute. which i really dislike. rahhh.
on another thought, God has been really good to me today. when i ranted at him for seemingly unanswerable questions, he said nothing but came to me today and gave me the time to let my real emotions surface themselves. been questioning myself a lot lately, and wondering if it's just the last vestiges of our past that i needed to confront and process and let them sublimate. take today, for example. i was at IJTP for IJ induction programme, and den i went to risen christ for mass. being in the vicinity reminded me of the times when me and friends would go to risen christ church for bible studies, for css gatherings, for wyd prep sessions. the place seemed so familiar, yet the ppl were strangers. i did not know them, not even the priests, and the only person i recognised was the pauline sister at the bookshop, sr mary? can't remb her name now..
i remembered the time when you first showed me that stationary shop in the midst of the toa payoh bustle. i remembered that very same day some strange things had occured and our paths crossed unexpectedly, despite all the intentional avoidance and odd time of the day. i remembered, and i dunno if i've told you this before, that i couldn't believe what was happening, i had to go and hide away in the secret garden in a bid to figure out what exactly was going on at that place where i saw you... it was a really strange day. i was honestly confused by the circumstances. wondered what God had in store for us that day. even on hindsight now, years later, i dun think i'm certain of His intentions of letting our paths cross that day. this memory, belongs to that building in toa payoh. near the shrine made out of the really old tree? where ppl go to pray? oddly familiar, yet oddly strange and new.
i know i'm writing in cryptic, but the person who knows what i'm talking about, will definitely know. :P so if you're confused, den it's not for you! :P k time to zzz....
today a friend of mine called me to tell me that i hadn't been too careful with my mouth, and had blabbered some potentially hurtful things abt herself to a complete stranger who knew her. it struck me that i hadn't thought about the consequences of saying all that, and that to me it was just mindless small talk. so i guess i was really at fault, and did not take her words seriously, whereas she really meant whatever she said to me. and i almost got her into trouble if that stranger-friend of hers did blabber to another person. eeps. it's a horribly irresponsible thing. so now i gotta be more aware of the politics that abound in the profession and pretend to be mute. which i really dislike. rahhh.
on another thought, God has been really good to me today. when i ranted at him for seemingly unanswerable questions, he said nothing but came to me today and gave me the time to let my real emotions surface themselves. been questioning myself a lot lately, and wondering if it's just the last vestiges of our past that i needed to confront and process and let them sublimate. take today, for example. i was at IJTP for IJ induction programme, and den i went to risen christ for mass. being in the vicinity reminded me of the times when me and friends would go to risen christ church for bible studies, for css gatherings, for wyd prep sessions. the place seemed so familiar, yet the ppl were strangers. i did not know them, not even the priests, and the only person i recognised was the pauline sister at the bookshop, sr mary? can't remb her name now..
i remembered the time when you first showed me that stationary shop in the midst of the toa payoh bustle. i remembered that very same day some strange things had occured and our paths crossed unexpectedly, despite all the intentional avoidance and odd time of the day. i remembered, and i dunno if i've told you this before, that i couldn't believe what was happening, i had to go and hide away in the secret garden in a bid to figure out what exactly was going on at that place where i saw you... it was a really strange day. i was honestly confused by the circumstances. wondered what God had in store for us that day. even on hindsight now, years later, i dun think i'm certain of His intentions of letting our paths cross that day. this memory, belongs to that building in toa payoh. near the shrine made out of the really old tree? where ppl go to pray? oddly familiar, yet oddly strange and new.
i know i'm writing in cryptic, but the person who knows what i'm talking about, will definitely know. :P so if you're confused, den it's not for you! :P k time to zzz....
星期二, 十一月 1
random thoughts
i had an idea of making a life-size sculpture-crucifix with some synthetic material mimicking the feel of real human skin. and den letting ppl actually go near it and touch it.. how dead flesh feels like, how impossibly cruel it seems to have an entire religion focused upon the death of a man on the torture instrument of its day. as one priest said in his homily, christianity is the only religion to have a dead man hanging on a cross, and hung in prominence in the prayer space. that really struck me, and so i was really thinking about making this truth more real to the senses. :P imagine if you could go up close to this cross and touch the man hanging dead there. it's kinda, gruesome and possibly life-changing. ;)
in another realm, i've realised that each time i feel some kind of 'missing' for certain ppl, it is surely because i have not spent enough time with that certain Person. my own desire of the presence of someone points me to my unfaithfulness with Someone. haiz. oh well. at least i know, rite? just gottw work on the feelings then.
i have so many things to do, but no mood to do them. procrastination! rahhhh.
in another realm, i've realised that each time i feel some kind of 'missing' for certain ppl, it is surely because i have not spent enough time with that certain Person. my own desire of the presence of someone points me to my unfaithfulness with Someone. haiz. oh well. at least i know, rite? just gottw work on the feelings then.
i have so many things to do, but no mood to do them. procrastination! rahhhh.
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